Quran For All

Official Blog of www.farhathashmi.com

My Hysterectomy

Posted by Admin on May 29, 2009

letter to Dr.Farhat Hashmi from Sana Dossal

Dear Dr Farhat,

Alhamdulilllah by the grace of Allah I have come home now after a hysterectomy and am recuperating.After having an ultrasound in March, I was told I had a huge fibroid in my uterus and there was no other way but to have a hysterectomy since the mass was pressing on my bladder, I had swollen feet and there were possibilities that it could eventually lead to other complications.I did istikhara and left it up to Allah. There is a beautiful dua that we had been taught to us on the Khalwa (retreat).

“Allahumma innee laa ureedu an ureeda illah ma tureed.”

Oh Allah, indeed I do not will to will except that which You Will.

Alhamdulillah it was tawakkaltu al Allah and I left it up to Allah.
My appointment with the doctor on the 2nd of April led to the finalization of my surgery date for Wednesday the 8th. I was to “check in” at the Agha Khan Hospital on Tuesday the 7th so that that they could prepare me for surgery which was to take place the next day.

Alhamdulillah I completed all the outstanding work with Rakshanda and Waqar sahab at 2/A by Tuesday afternoon and sorted out all my commitments that would need to be put on hold for the next month. It seemed that the days were too short leading up to my surgery. I had been told that I would need time to convalesce for at least two to six weeks, after the surgery and I would need to be watchful and vigilant for eight weeks, not climbing stairs, driving lifting etc. So it was quite hectic to wrap up everything that I could physically get done before I went to the hospital.

Mummy insisted on staying with me during the time I was there. There was to be no “ifs” and “buts” about it! By the time I reached the hospital, weighed,  given my hospital gown and pyjamas and “shown my room” it was about six in the evening. It was a beautiful evening and a beautiful room.

From my window I could see the most beautiful date palms, and during salah times, the sound of the muezzin was crystal clear as was the jamaat. I was truly blessed. Mummy Amena and I said our prayers in our own Jamaat for Maghrib, and Ishaa. When Mummy and I were up for tahajjud, that night,  Alhamdulillah it was Allah’s will that while I  was reciting the tenth para at the time He chose that I should recite in my Salah, the Ayat, “la Tahzan innallaha ma’ana ……” I kept reciting the words over and over again, and Allah was reaffirming to me that all would be well and there would Insha Allah be sakeenah.

The feeling that Allah was talking to me and comforting me was immense at that moment. Those words remained with me as I lay in the pre operation room waiting for the doctors and nurses to wheel me in. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of closeness to Allah and my eyes welled up uncontrollably. If anyone was to notice my face at that point would have probably thought that I was scared and sorry for myself. But my heart and my soul felt a certain closeness to Allah in those moments that I had never felt before. Feelings of love and thankfulness abounded and I felt so rich in every way imaginable.  A replay of events and conversations and people were just passing randomly through my mind at their own will and throughout Allah was with me in those moments, I felt it, and I knew it. How fortunate I was.  I was grateful and thankful that all that I could remember saying continuously was Alhamdulillah.

I was wheeled in for surgery at 1:00. By the time I was conscious and able to ask the time again it was 5:00 in the evening. I was drowsy and disoriented and kept falling in and out of sleep. How I reached my room or how I made it there I only have a brief  recollection of being told to slowly move my self sideways on to the  bed in the room  that  lay parallel to the one I had been wheeled in on. I had been told before the surgery that I would have a “pump” with non narcotic pain killers that I could press at ten minute intervals. In my mind I had thought that I was being given a drip of pain killers and the pump was there for me if I required an extra dose. Being quite comfortable I had not used the pump and with the grace of Allah the amount that I required was barely negligible, 6 pumps in the entire twenty four hours. I was later told that there had been no pain killers and the relief was only when I would press the pump. SubhanAllah! Whenever I felt any discomfort, or when I would turn on my side, I would say, Rabbi yassir walaa tuassir wa tammim bil khair.

These words brought strength and comfort to me and the pain or anxiety that I would be feeling would completely dissipate and I would be calm once more.
My recuperation was steady, but I had lost a lot of blood. I had been fortunate in that my doctor had worked hard to save my ovaries which were the reason my surgery had taken longer than usual.  I had to have two iron drips to stabilize my hemoglobin which had gone down to seven.
Throughout my time at the hospital I was taken good care of, the nurses were always smiling, and there for me whenever I needed them. The first day was the most difficult, but to me it seemed that I was not in as much pain as I had thought I would have been. Mummy kept asking me, “Are you in pain?” to which with all honesty I would reply, “Not really”.

While I slept, mummy would read the Quran, or say her prayers. Waking in and out of my drowsiness, I could see my brothers, my husband, my daughter, my sister, my relatives, I realized how fortunate I was that Allah had blessed me with so many loved ones who were concerned for my health and well being, and most of all my parents’ presence, love and duas. I could not thank Allah enough, for all His blessings in every way possible.
Before going in for surgery I had been worried about my hya. The hospital gown and pyjamas were comfortable and decent and I was covered with a sheet as well, all the way to the pre operation room, where they covered my hair with a cap and I had to return my chadar with which I had draped my hair and face. I returned my chadar to the nurse once they covered my hair with a cap and I covered my face with the sheet that covered my body. The sheet was soon replaced with the oxygen mask on my face. After the surgery, when I returned to my room I was still dressed in the very comfortable white gown and pyjamas and a sheet. It was covering and at no time did I feel exposed in anyway. It was Allah’s grace on me that He looked after my hya. Alhamdulillah.

I was told by my doctor that I could leave on Saturday but my family insisted that I stay two more days and leave on Monday instead. Amena spent the night with me on Saturday night; once mummy was sure that I was better and more able. Amena left in the morning and I spent most of Sunday on my own and Sunday night as well. I had wanted to hear the tafseer of Surah Sajdah and I really want to learn this surah by heart. May Allah give me the ability to do so, ameen. On our retreat we had been reminded about the importance of surah Sajdah, and that Rasul Allah (saw) never went to sleep unless he had recited it. The opportunity was perfect. I had saved the Canada tafseer on my Ipod which I had packed to take with me to the hospital along with my duas and Quran. I was fortunate enough to listen to the entire tafseer of the surah in my room. There was no disturbance except when the nurses would check in on me. And it was so serene and quiet, except for the sound of the azaan and the occasional pigeons that would coo peeping in through the low window sill. I could hear the baby beds being moved outside in the corridor but I was blessed with time and peace. It was truly moving hearing the meanings the elaboration of the Ayaat and then the qiraat made my heart and soul soar with understanding and I felt so close to Allah. The word Dhukkiru really touched me because this year has been an awakening from Allah for me. And really there are so many things that I had forgotten that resurfaced with such clarity. May Allah reward you for enabling me to understand the words of the Quran. There is no feeling or pleasure that can match the feeling of a soaring soul. May Allah open vistas to you, may He always bless you with the ability to open the treasures of this book and share your in depth knowledge with others, ameen. May all who hear it, submit to the One. Truly Allah is the Greatest. Allahu Akbar.

Love, hugs and duas to you.
As always inspired and grateful,
Sana

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3 Responses to “My Hysterectomy”

  1. sana said

    this is truly amazing!

  2. Ayesha said

    AoA—this is inspiring!!
    MashaAllah—may Allah reward you for all the pains that you bore Ameen!

  3. Ameera said

    SubhanAllah!

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