Quran For All

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Archive for July, 2008

How To Guard Your Husband’s Honor As Allah Has Commanded

Posted by Admin on July 26, 2008

By Sadaf Farooqi

Traditionally, occupations such as cooking, sewing, fashion designing and interior decorating were considered the exclusive terrain of women. Today, however, they have all witnessed incursions by men, to some extent. One domain, though, still remains predominantly women’s-only, and that is home-making. This is because it is woman’s innate nature to be the master of her home. As manager, guard and coordinator, she happily does the household chores and caters to her family’s needs, while the husband, more often than not the chief breadwinner, remains absent throughout the day at work.

Allah has acknowledged this aspect of the functional family unit, by instructing women to be “guards” of their husband’s property and honour in the latter’s absence:

Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard…

[Qur’an – Surah Al-Nisaa: 34]

Guarding “what Allah would have them guard” implies that a Muslim wife should guard:

  • Her husband’s property (house, money, belongings, and anything which he leaves behind),
  • Her own modesty and chastity, and finally,
  • Her husband’s honour and reputation.

Guarding her husband’s honour would mean not mentioning him, his character, or his deeds to any third person in a derogatory or defaming manner – ever. Although the world generally frowns upon an untidy home in disarray, or a cheating wife flirting with other men, this aspect of a wife’s loyalty – her maintaining her husband’s honour behind his back – is something even many “good” wives fail to accomplish. Women generally speak well of their husbands to people they are not close to. It’s the close relatives and friends, however, who unwittingly cause slips.

  1. Be careful of unintentional slips in conversations with other women:

    “The plumber came, and I had to rush back home to supervise his work, as [my husband] is totally useless; on Saturdays, he lies in bed all day and does absolutely nothing…”
    “My husband snores so loudly, it could scare anyone who hears him in the middle of the night.”
    “He offers to cook, but his dishes turn out horrible, so I’d rather not eat what he makes…”
    “He never takes me shopping; he’s always involved in his work.”
    During the gush of such ‘girly’ conversations, their husbands’ potent faults are unintentionally revealed. The listeners/on-lookers chuckle knowingly, nodding their heads in compassionate comprehension. What they enjoy is the pleasure of knowing that this supposedly “happy” and perfect Muslim couple too, have the usual marital differences; that even seemingly “righteous” couples cannot always live in harmony. And last but not least, it gives them fodder for gossip.
    Even if there is no major argument between the couple, how often we see Muslim women casually commenting to each other about their husband’s shortcomings. Whether on the phone, or during a visit, it is common to hear them complaining about their husbands to their mother, sister, cousin, or best friend. Even if they discuss their husband lovingly, some hidden aspect of the comment, or merely the tone of voice, sometimes carries disdain or derision.

  2. Remember that mentioning your husband’s weaknesses might initiate gossip about you:

    The gossip-mongers in any social circle dwell on the “juicy” tidbits regarding other couples’ marital discord, for which they fish around in conversation and hearsay. We have all heard the stories about the in-law hovering outside the bedroom door while the husband and wife argued, or the “sincere” friend giving a frustrated wife her shoulder to cry on, only to discuss the account with her other friends later.

  3. Remember that protecting the husband’s honor is one of Allah’s commands for a Muslim wife:

    What Muslim women should be wise enough to understand is that, by revealing their husband’s faults to anyone else, they are disobeying Allah and thus putting themselves at risk of His wrath. They alone, are to lose out by this action.
    Even though Islam allows a woman to seek help for major problems in her marriage, it enjoins her to bear all trivial marital problems with patience and discretion.
    A woman does not get as much respect anywhere in the world as she does in her husband’s home: there, she’s the queen of her throne, elegant and ethereal. When she defames her husband in any way to a third person, she lowers herself from this high pedestal.
    She gives people a chance to mock her and discuss her with others, becoming the topic of coffee-table repartee.

  4. Beware of the concern of even your biological mothers and sisters – it can sometimes be the cause of your marital troubles:

    Narrated by Ibn Abbas, Prophet Muhammad [Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him] said:
    The best woman (wife) is the one who, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are not in her presence, she safeguards herself and your belongings.”
    [Ibn Majah 1861]
    Muslim women should be careful about this matter even with their biological sisters and mothers. At the end of the day, no one wants a woman to come and live with them if she gets divorced or estranged from her husband. They, however, do enjoy listening to her incessantly complain of the problems in her husband’s home: how low the finances are, how untidy her husband is, how much he eats, or how he neglects her rights. They might throw bygone incidents in her face even months after she has moved on and forgotten them, so that she starts brimming with indignation all over again, at their mention.
    Muslim women should try not to fall prey to the instigations of such “well-wishing” people, who laugh when she mocks her husband, who relish her marital dissensions, who thrive on getting to know other women’s domestic troubles. They are devils in disguise, preying on the tranquility of others’ homes, seeking juicy coffee-party gossip. Muslim women should beware of disobeying Allah in this regard.

  5. Make only righteous, Allah-fearing woman your close confidantes and ‘shoulders to cry on’:

    Even if you have a fight with your husband and you feel you must mention it to someone to feel better, do it with someone who has high taqwa [consciousness of Allah], who will never divulge your story to anyone else. Even your own mother might mention it to her sister, who might tell her daughter, and in this way, the whole family might be discussing your household troubles and commenting about them, weeks or months after the whole thing has blown over.

Remember that in every command of Allah lies a potent hikmah, a hidden wisdom that is beneficial for you. He loves you seventy times more than your well-wishing mother. Run to Him – in salah [regular Islamic prayer], dua [praying to Him], dhikr [His remembrance by the tongue and heart], and istighfar [seeking His forgiveness for sins] – whenever you have a bone to pick with your husband. For the solution and the solace after the storm, trust in Allah. If you keep your duty to Him, He will never relinquish you – rather, He will fill your home with unbridled peace, harmony and tranquility.

This article was first published on the website howtodothings.com.

Posted in Acting upon the Quran, Allah, Islam, Muslim Matters, Prophet Muhammad (saw), Quran, Women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 18 Comments »

Rajab and Mairaj

Posted by Admin on July 16, 2008

We are now in the Islamic Month of Rajab. It is one of the four sacred months of the Islamic Calendar.
When ever Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon him) used to ask his companions any question, they would respond “Allah and His messenger know best”.

So let us learn about the month of Rajab and Mairaj event in the light of Quran and Sunnah.
See our special Flash presentation on Rajab and Mairaj which also includes a lecture by Dr. Farhat Hashmi in urdu.

Posted in Allah, Dr.Farhat Hashmi, Islam, Muslim Matters, Religion, Urdu Lecture | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Why God Created Two Genders?

Posted by Admin on July 3, 2008

Why God Created Two Genders?

By Javeria Aqeel

Allah Subhana Watala – The Lord of the worlds says in Quran:

“Glory to Allah, Who created in pairs all things that the earth produces, as well as their own (human) kind and (other) things of which they have no knowledge.” (Quran 36:36)

Allah the creator of everything has created everything in pairs, male and female, day and night, sun and moon, darkness and light etc.

The male is different from the female but they both are created from the same source as is mentioned in many places in the Quran. (Quran 4:1, 7:189)

The physiological and biological differences between sexes and their roles are a fact and can not be denied. Men are more physically strong with more stamina, energy and resistance. Men and women differ greatly in weight shape, size and anatomy. Men and women also have huge psychological differences. They differ in the way they think, solve problems, their memory skills and sensitivity and emotions are also different. Various studies and research has proved these differences.

However, this does not mean that because of these differences there is discrimination among men and women. The fact is that men and women have both been created for a specific purpose. Both have been given abilities and skills which they need to fulfill the roles assigned to them. Their emotions, skills and abilities in fact compliment each other. They are two parts of a whole and are essential to the human family to continue the human race and they need each other emotionally and physically as Allah says in the Quran:

“(He is) the Creator of the heavens and the earth: He has made for you pairs from among yourselves, and pairs among cattle: by this means does He multiply you: there is nothing whatever like unto Him, and He is the One that hears and sees (all things).”(Quran 42:11)

“He created for you mates from amongst yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He put love and mercy between your hearts – for each other” (Quran 30:22).

Thus the purpose of creating two genders was to continue the human race and to provide them comfort, peace and harmony in each other’s companionship. The relationship between the husband and wife is compared to that between the body and the clothes. Allah describes husband and a wife as garments of each other. (Quran 2:187) The spouses are close to each other, protect each, provide comfort and companionship to each other , hide each other’s deficiencies and are always there for each other.

Yet, each gender is independent and accountable for their own actions and deeds. Character, rather than the gender, is the defining criterion in front of Allah as He says in many places in the Quran:

“The better amongst you in the sight of God is the one who is better in character” (Quran 49:13).

Posted in Allah, Islam, Muslim Matters, Quran, Religion | Leave a Comment »

Facing Death…

Posted by Admin on July 2, 2008

Facing Death…

By Javeria Aqeel

Death is an undeniable fact of life…yet is the most ignored.

We all have to die and we all know that. Thousands of people die every day. Yet this stark reality has become lost…obscured…eventually forgotten.

When we embark on a journey, we plan every tiniest detail. What we will need for the journey, what we should pack, our documents, passports all should be in perfect order. We do our utmost to know about our destination,its currency, accommodation,  climate, clothing etc However, our preparation for our own death is nil.

For our death, we plan nothing, pack nothing, have no clue what the journey will be like…Do we even know our destination? Have we arranged for our accommodation ? Not really! Yet we claim to be Muslims and we claim to believe in the Akhirat.

Do we actually know what the Akhirat will be like? When we all are resurrected, will it be day or night? How will we come out of the graves? What will happen next? How long would the court of Allah be for? We know nothing…we never even bother to know about this journey…yet we say we believe?! If this is not lip service… then what is it?

This lack of conviction of Akhirat and being ignorant about it causes us to forget our own death – the undeniable fact of life.

So how does a Muslim with true belief in Akhirat behave?
Once i went  to a Quran Lecture given by Najmul Hasan every Friday in English on Khayaban e sehar. There I realized what true belief on Akhirat really means.

Najam uncle narrated a true story of his friend who was ill and got his blood tests done. From the hospital he called Najam uncle and told him I have two news – one good one bad. Najam uncle asked him to narrate the bad news first.

He said he has been diagnosed with cancer. Terminal cancer. After such a news, one wonders what possible good news can there be in the face of death!!?? His friend replied that finally he will get to meet Allah and see the unseen – the ghaib.. on which he had full belief all his life.. And now finally the curtain to the other world would soon be lifted from him. So this was the good news – for a true believer. And this how our belief on Akhirat should be.

Posted in Death, Islam, Muslim Matters, Quran, Religion | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »